An Apology for Oguma
by Ruffassa
Summary: Feeling emotionally conflicted, Louis decides to apologize to his adoptive father after dinner. Takes place during the events of Beastars Chapter 157, and contains some spoilers to earlier Chapters.


Louis felt guilt.

His adoptive father, Oguma, had given him everything, and he spat in his face again and again. That wasn't the reason why Louis felt guilty though. Looking back on the experiences of his life, he had always been meat. Meat to be sold in the Back Alley Market, or meat to replace the bloodline of one of the richest and most powerful men in the world. Then, he literally became meat for Legosi, even if it was to help catch a dangerous predatory carnivore murderer.

He didn't regret any of that. His foot, which once was branded with his number, was now gone. His "curse" had been consumed. Truthfully, that night, he felt as though he should have died. He wanted Legosi to eat all of him, change him totally, and end his life which he thought he so hated.

But now, even with a prosthetic leg grinding against his stump of a sleek deer leg, he was feeling guilty. Guilty for wanting to die, guilty for hating his life. His time leading the Shishigumi had taught him more about his abilities and the special circumstances that he could exploit. Not for his own gain, but for the good of others. He had been born a nobody and, quite literally, was placed directly in the lap of luxury and power. Even if this wasn't the life he would have chosen, somewhere, that had to be worth something. Louis never looked at the jealously others put towards him; to be the spoiled rich son of a megacorperation owner, to have perfect grades and to be almost destined to the next Beastar. He never felt that jealousy was justified, because he never asked for it. But, at the same time, Oguma had given him this envious life, even though Louis never asked for it. So _why_ did he feel so guilty?

Louis looked at his phone. No messages. Ever since last night's dinner he was worried about the Shishigumi- he worried about them cutting themselves off from the world as they they felt their deaths coming. He wanted to call them. He wanted to see them.

He would go to the back alley market, tomorrow. But he had one more thing to do tonight. He had to make amends.

* * *

"Father. May I speak to you?" Louis said, stopping his Father in the hallways of their high rise suite. The rather dignified buck turned his head, with his impressive set of antlers.

"Louis. We must keep this quick. I have urgent matters to attend to." Oguma stated simply, taking a moment to adjust his suit's cuffs. Nearby, their butler stood at attention, obviously expecting an order from Oguma before he left for his business.

"May I speak to you, privately? Just for a moment." Louis questioned, slightly quieter in tone. His eyes darted to the side, he felt rising embarrassment. Once again, he felt guilty and self loathing. Legosi would have no issue spilling his heart out, even in public. He didn't want the servant of his family to hear his apology- this was too personal.

"Come now, Son. Yuta has been in my service for a very long time. He's paid very well to keep everything we do private- he knows you are adopted. He even helped teach you to speak, since you couldn't after I first bought you. Surely, you remember?"

Louis scowled. Why did Oguma had to make this difficult?

"Alright." Louis said simply, taking a step back. He didn't want his antlers getting in the way. With strained his back and put his arms at his side, letting his bodyweight fall forward while remaining strongly centered. His prosthetic silently creaked in its joint, the stub it was connected to rubbing against the plastic cub. He bowed from the hip, a deep bow, towards his father.

"Father! My words at dinner tonight were unacceptable! I am deeply sorry for having insulted you! Please forgive me!"

Louis's words stung his throat. The silence that followed them was worse. He remained in his position- a submissive bow, and could only stare down at his father's expensive polished shoes. He felt around his antlers the almost imperceptible motion of a hand, which was retracted within a moment. He then heard his father snap his fingers.

"You! Make yourself useful!" Oguma demanded. Louis heard the bleat of the sheep butler as Yuta quickly scrambled away from the scene.

Within a few moments, Oguma had stepped forward and to the left, putting his hand on Louis's shoulder. He felt the warm fingers against his coat, awkwardly sinking into the fabric for a moment before he felt himself yanked upwards.

"Stand up." Oguma said, an angry hiss in his voice that put Louis on edge. His father _never_ showed emotions, even anger.

Oguma's fingers ran across Louis's coat, straightening it out and removing imaginary particles of dust. "My Son does not _bow_, like a sniveling _servant_." Oguma spoke roughly, his apparent anger towards Yuta still staining his perceptions it seemed.

Louis looked up at his father with soft eyes, waiting for them to be met. He did not deem fit to punish Louis for what he had said, even though he had insulted the man's masculinity directly. Despite the kind of father he was, Louis felt he had gone to far. It hurt him to not have an answer.

"Father, I-"

Oguma cut him off with a held open palm. He shook his head. The inexpressive older man's fur ruffled against his collar. He looked positively dignified, as always. He seemed to want the same for Louis.

"Louis. We've always had our... differences. I know you may not always enjoy the life I had planned for you. Ever since I... found you, I knew there would be hardships. Sometimes we say things we regret."

Louis was so happy at what his father said. For the first time in his life, he was 'found' instead of 'bought'. Never before had the exact price on him, as any investment would be, was listed. Louis felt like his father was sparing him by using his words with care. Perhaps "Saved" would be too presumptuous, but "Found"? Louis could live with found.

"Thank you, Father." Louis said simply. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, Oguma's matured hand on his shoulder, and then the old buck surprised him. Stepping forward, Oguma took his hand and reached around Louis's back. He drew him close into his body, and Louis's own hands did the same after a second of confusion and hesitation. He didn't think he'd ever touched his adoptive father before.

The hug was awkward, and stilled. Two animals, unrelated by blood, incapable of expressing emotions easily, were embracing under the light of a high rise, high class suite. Louis thought he heard rain, or maybe dishes being washed. He was being held by Oguma much in the same way a department store mannequin would hug its artificial smaller clone to advertise family fashions.

There was a wetness in the young deer's eyes. It was the warmest hug he had ever received.


End file.
